We have all heard of the importance of self care – so why is it such a big deal right now, and how can it help our relationships? One reason is that it can help a lot with our emotional, physical and mental health – and allows us to address our immediate needs. This can be tough – especially if we have been taught to put others’ needs before our own – so here are some tips on how to get started:
- Honour your Emotional State – None of us are happy all the time – and we all have days that we are certainly not our best selves! Tuning in to our emotional state, and giving ourselves what we need (whether this is alone time, comfort, or simply rest) is fundamental to self care.
- ‘Me’ Time – Even if we like being around others and spending time as part of a group or couple, introverts and extroverts alike also need some downtime – whether this is an unstructured time at home alone chilling, or time spent organizing and reflecting on your priorities. For most people, lack of alone time results in feeling scattered and annoyed – and who wants that?
- Sleep Hygiene – As much as we know that sleep is one of the most important things for our health – up there with diet and exercise – it is also one of the most neglected. Finding a sleep routine that works for you is essential for good mental health – this might look like avoiding technology for an hour before bed, using blackout curtains, or doing some relaxation exercises before bed.
- Sweat it out – there is no debating it – exercise helps our mental health. The challenge can be finding a way to incorporate this into our lives that works for us – so consider a way to do this, whether it is making it social (eg. a walk with friends), exciting (eg. several high intensity boot camps per week) or pleasurable (eg. a daily online yoga class that puts you in a glorious mood all day). Exercise is a great stress reliever, and even some stretching in the morning is a great start.
- Eat Well – No, we’re not telling you to cut out coffee and alcohol, and go on a cleanse – but rather, make sure you are eating foods that make you feel good and give you energy and clarity. Depending on who you are, this might mean lots of vegetables and fruits, or having smaller but more frequent meals. Finding what foods work for you, and eating them, is an important self care tool.
- Self Talk – A major part of self care is being kind to ourselves – being our own friends. This means that even when we make a mistake or fail to live up to our own expectations, we can practice self compassion and understanding. We know that punishment and berating ourselves doesn’t work – so why keep doing it?
- Challenge the narrative – Again, self care isn’t all about bubble baths and massages. Sometimes we need to actively intervene on behalf of ourselves and be our own advocate – whether this is when reflecting on a past event, or interacting with someone who is critical. Self care can mean putting down boundaries and standing up for ourselves.
- Self Forgiveness – Self-compassion is a big part of self care – perhaps the core of the practice. We might have regrets or sadness about our past behavior, but part of moving forward is to understand what happened and – just like a good friend or therapist – provide acknowledgment, validation and support – and move on with your life.
- Keep Learning – A big part of self care is a growth mindset and the willingness to keep growing and developing. This might mean seeking professional help (online or face to face), or a commitment to self reflection and time spent pursuing things that are important to you. Your self care needs will change over time, and being able to honour this and invest in yourself will result in major improvements in your day to day life!
